


The Bachelor

by Ailacs1



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Drama, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Reality TV, maybe smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:15:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24973669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ailacs1/pseuds/Ailacs1
Summary: abc's "The bachelor" but make it Haikyuu and make it gayHinata is this seasons bachelor
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Hinata Shouyou, Hinata Shouyou & Everyone, Hinata Shouyou/Everyone, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Kozume Kenma, Hinata Shouyou/Kuroo Tetsurou, Hinata Shouyou/Miya Atsumu, Hinata Shouyou/Nishinoya Yuu, Hinata Shouyou/Oikawa Tooru, Hinata Shouyou/Sugawara Koushi, Hinata Shouyou/Tsukishima Kei, Hinata Shouyou/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Comments: 21
Kudos: 208





	The Bachelor

**Author's Note:**

> Huge thanks to @daisuke_takahiro on AO3 for helping me out with the first chapter, beta reading this and helping me develop the ideas and stuff. I like the bachelor a lot even though it's hot garbage so I made it haikyuu... I hope you enjoy.

‘Hello everyone and welcome back to another season of The Bachelor! I am your host Keishin Ukai. On the last season of The Bachelor, we helped two lovely ladies, Yaichi and Kiyoko, find love. This season, we have Hinata Shouyou, a sunshine from Las Vegas, Nevada, who is ready to find love”

The camera cuts and a short man with bright orange hair beams at the camera. 

“Hi everyone! I’m Hinata Shoyou! I am 24 and this season's Bachelor! I am a professional volleyball player for the Black jackals. I have a little sister, Natsu, and even though she's older now, she's still my world. It’s important for my special person to realize that family is everything to me. It’s a HUGE deal breaker for me if my parents don’t like you. Oh yeah and I’m also a bit of a foodie, especially for a good meat bun! Anyways, I am so glad to be here in LA to find the love of my life!” 

Hinata finishes with a big tooth filled grin once again and a nervous hand running through his hair. As the camera pans out and away from him the audience can see a beautiful sunset that rivals the Bachelor himself.

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


“My name is Kenma Kozume, a 24 year old pro-gamer from Silicon Valley.”

A young man with long, ombre hair tied back in a bun speaks with a slightly bored look on his face. He is wearing a sweatshirt paired with light wash denim jeans. The camera shows a room with four monitors all set up around a multi colored keyboard and a glowing mouse. 

“Gaming has been my life for the past six years, but recently I’ve been looking to settle down, get married, maybe adopt a few kids.” 

The camera pans up and out showing several framed certificates on the wall.

“ Besides my gaming, I am the CEO of a company and I like to do investments on the side. I think Hinata is such a ray of light, and I can't wait to find my forever partner on the bachelor.” 

“I’m Kei Tsukishima. I’m 23 and in my third year of college.”

A tall boy with fuzzy blond and thick rimmed glasses sits at a desk piled with books.

“I’m probably the only contestant that isn’t a professional in some field, but I think that is to my advantage. Even though I am going to get a degree in architecture, I am still taking extra curricular classes in art, music, and even flower arranging. Haha, I guess I’m kind of a design your own model, since I’m still young and Shoyou and I can grow together.”   
The camera pulls back and pans around the room showing that Kei has a roommate that is missing. The room is surprisingly neat for two college students, but there are several awards that have Kei’s name on them.

“Shoyou isn’t gonna know what hit him when he meets me. A younger man that is more put together then he is? Yeah, I’m gonna blow him and the competition away.”

Kei delivers the last line right into the camera with a confident smirk.

“I am Tendou Satori . I am 25 years old and as I am sure you all already know that I am the number one idol in pop music.”

A tall, skinny, red- headed man appears on screen with his hip cocked out and a knowing smirk on his face. He is dressed in a black silk shirt that is open almost to his stomach and tight black leather pants.

“I’ve been on my  _ Break Their Hearts _ tour for the past year and life has been so busy. My song  _ Blocks _ has been on top of the charts for three weeks now. I want to be with Sho because, being the professional he is, he will understand what fame is like.”

Satori walks around his dressing room stopping in front of a shelf with several music awards and does a nonchalant pose.

“We would be an amazing power couple in our industries since we are both at the top of our game. Being a little older of course I would be happy to guide Sho with important decision making. I would even recommend my manager to him.”

“In all seriousness, I know that my life has been a big party and I am grateful to my fans for all the opportunities that I have been given, but as I advance in years, I feel that pull to settle down and just be with the one I love.”

The lighting in the room seems to dim creating a softness on Tendou’s face.

“I just hope that I can share that dream with Sho.”

“Haha hello! I’m Tetsuro Kuroo. I am 25, and I am an adult film actor.”

A built man with dark hair smiles at the camera. 

“Even though I am younger than many of my co workers, I pride myself on having had a fairly long career in the AV industry.”

“ In my industry it is really hard to meet people with good intentions. Everyone I have met so far wants to use me, or gets weirded out when they find out my job. Hinata has always seemed like the type to not judge based on looks so I am really excited to get to know him on this season of The Bachelor. 

* * *

  
  


_ This episode is sponsored by…crest optic white strips. Have you tried the napkin test? Those teeth are yellow. Have whiter teeth in just hours with crest optic white strips. Now you can pass the napkin test too.  _

_ This episode is also sponsored by pandora jewelers. “When I needed to propose to the love of my life, to create memories, to cherish her, I chose pandora.” _

_ Beats by Dre. Taylor Swift approves of them so everyone else should too  _

_ Now back to the bachelor _

* * *

  
  


“So Hinata: why did you decide to be on The Bachelor?” 

“Well Ukai” The human tangerine smiles at the camera. It seems like the young man never stops smiling, in fact. 

“Volleyball takes up so much of my time, and it is probably my first love, but recently, it seems like I want a little more. Someone to come support me and who I can support in return. I guess my setters have always come and gone, but now I want a partner for life.” 

Two limos approach the Bachelor house, filled with the contestants waiting to find love. The boys are making small talk, mostly about how much they adore Hinata. 

“Isn’t Hinata’s idiocy adorable” Kageyama Tobio smirked

“ Ha ha I would use my job as a policeman to protect that adorable smile.” Sawamura Daichi commented. 

“Hinata Shouyou’s smile is the best thing since growing yams” Ushijima Wakatoshi remarked. 

As these comments continued, the limo inched its way closer to the mansion, the sun setting as Hinata grew increasingly nervous at the idea of meeting his future partner for life. 

The boys in the limos grew increasingly excited to meet their little firefly. 

“Cheers!!!!! To Hinata Shouyou, my future husband” Oikawa announced

“Cheers!!!!” the rest of the boys responded. 

“What a b***h” Tendou whispered to Nishinoya as he rolled his eyes  _ Hinata will obviously be mine. _

  
  
  


* * *

  
  


The sky was dark and full of stars by the time that Ukai and Hinata stood outside waiting to meet the 20 young men for first impressions. The well- known fountain that marks the mansions entance stood behind them, glowing in its usual blue, and The Bachelor house sparkled from the entrance to the pool, waiting to be filled with the hopeful new contestants. 

“Tonight, our Bachelor will meet 20 young men, and one of them will be the love of his life, his future husband. In just a few moments all of our hopefuls will come and try and make their best first impression on Hinata. At the end of the night, one first impression rose will be given, and five contestants will be cut, shaving our numbers down to fifteen. Hinata, How are you feeling?”

“I’m not going to lie” Hinata murmured “I am so nervous, nervous they won't like me, or nervous I won't live up to expectations. Most of all I am nervous that I will be alone after the show ends.” The boy suddenly lifted his head and started smiling. “That’s not to say that I am not excited. I am so excited. I am just as hopeful as I am nervous, and I can’t wait to meet everyone!!” 

Ukai smiled. He wouldn’t tell anyone this, but even as host he had taken a liking to this season's Bachelor more than any other. 

“Well” he adjusted his microphone “I am glad you can’t wait because here comes the first limo. 

  
  


* * *

The first man stepped out of the limo. He was angry looking with a shaved head. One part of his hair was left unshaved and bleached. 

The two men shook hands and Hinata beamed at him, seemingly unphased by his ragged appearance. 

“Hey how are you. I’m Kentaro Kyotani. My friends call me Mad-dog. I am an anger management therapist.” 

Hinata, though still buzzing with excitement, looked at him curiously. “Haha that’s a bit ironic! Well anyways, Let’s talk more inside.” 

And just like that the first 10 first impressions went smoothly. One by one they introduced themselves to the Bachelor who was warm and accepting of each one. Excited to get to know them better. 

“My name is Akaashi Keiji and I am an editor. This will be fun.” 

“My name is Aone Takanobu and I work in construction. Nice to meet you.”

“I’m Ushijima Wakatoshi and I am a farmer. Can't wait to get to know you ”

“I probably don’t need to introduce myself, but just in case there is actually someone that lives under a rock, my name is Tendou Satori and of course I am an Idol.” The cock sure man crooned a little as part of his introduction.

“My name is Sakusa Kiyoomi. I work at a cleaning service.” Hinata’s eyes widened in understanding. “Ooooh, so that’s why you wore a mask!” 

“Omg were the same height!” Hinata squealed to the next contestant. 

“Not quite, the white haired man smirked, I am one inch taller. I’m Hoshiumi Korai.” 

“Ooooh can I squeeze your muscle?”

Kuroo laughed, “Go ahead. I’m Kuroo Tetsuro.”

“I’m Nishinoya Yuu and I’m actually a fisherman.”

“I’m Astumu Miya and I play volleyball. I’m a setter so maybe one day I can set for you.” 

* * *

  
  


_ Dr. Scholl’s insoles are the best thing to keep your feet from aching at work all day. With Dr. Scholl’s, your back pain will be completely gone.  _

  
  
  


_ This is how I go from Shaquille *sprays gold bond foot powder* to Shacool. Get it…. Gold bond foot powder. You can’t mess with perfection.  _

_ Now back to the bachelor  _

* * *

“How are you feeling after meeting the first ten of your eligible boyfriends?” Ukai interrogated. 

“I really liked them! A few of them stuck out, but it really hurts me to know that five will have to go at the end of this night. They were all so handsome in their suits and they all seem… all… Wahhhhhh!!!”

Hinata waved his hands around excitedly. Apparently the only things Hinata could use to describe the wonder of these tuxedoed men was a sound effect. 

“Well now it’s time to meet the next ten!! Here comes the second limo.” 

Just as the limo pulled up, Ukai exited the frame to make space for Hinata. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


“I’m Tsukishima Kei, I like dinosaurs , and I’m a college student.” Hinata did agree that dinosaurs are cool. 

A particularly well dressed man, navy blue suit with gold accents came up to say “I’m Asahi Azumane and I am a fashion designer.” 

“I’m Heitor Santana and I actually play beach volleyball.”

A really handsome dark haired man announced that he was Kageyama Tobio and he played professional volleyball too, though Hinata actually already knew who he was from the volleyball circuit. 

“I’m Kozume Kenma and I am a pro gamer.” 

“I’m Sawamura Daichi and I am a policeman.” 

“My name is Sugawara Koshi and I teach elementary school. Right now I have 17 little ones and I love them like they’re my own.” 

Someone brought Hinata a speaker as a gift and said “I’m Yamaguchi Tadashi and I work in home electronics.” 

Lastly, a spikey grey haired man with particularly owlish features arrived and Hinata laughed. He knew exactly who that was “Bokuto!! What are you doing here!” 

“Well, I heard that you were going to be on this show and so I figured that I should come too.” 

Hinata felt a little relieved that he knew one person here, even though it  _ was _ his friend ,and they had to go on dates. 

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Ukai walked back up to Hinata, in front of that gloriously lit fountain.

“Alright Hinata, those are the contestants. One of them is going to be your husband, Let’s go inside so you can get to know them better.” 

Hinata nervously nodded and followed Ukai. 

Ukai and Hinata stood in front of the 20 contestants, in a ridiculously adorned living room, complete with ornate carpets. Silently Hinata thought that the mansion was way more impressive in person than it was when he had watched The Bachelor on TV. The whole situation was surreal, he, Hinata Shouyou, the Bachelor. 

“Tonight, five of you will be sent home, and one of you will be getting the first impression rose. Hinata, do you have any words?” 

After shuffling his feet Hinata gathered some confidence. 

“You were all wonderful! I am going to spend the rest of my life with one of you so just be yourself. I know that my husband is in this room and I can’t wait to see who it is. Cheers!” 

“Cheers” the rest of the room repeated. 

  
  


_ Next time on the bachelor…. _

_ “If that b***h thinks he can steal all of the time with Hinata he has another thing coming.”  _

_ “Five of you will be going home…”  _

_ “The first impression rose goes to…”  _

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone actually reads this and has any fun date ideas... let me know and i'll throw them in
> 
> I hope you enjoyed


End file.
